Sugar and Spice
by The Author That Never Was
Summary: A collection of oneshots and drabbles featuring VegetaxBulma! Rated M because some of them might actually be M.
1. Drunken Bulma Blues

**Title: **Drunken Bulma Blues  
**Author: **Divinus Vivi (aka Kira)  
**Anime/Manga/etc.: **Dragonball Z  
**Topic: **Vegeta _not _helping Bulma and Vegeta _not _caring about that stupid woman  
**Rating: **PG…I suppose? I'm not good with rating.  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **VegetaxBulma of course  
**Warnings/Spoilers: **Gah, sadly, I don't know. I don't think so.  
**Word Count: **610  
**Summary: **Bulma is cold…how will Vegeta fix this problem? (And get your _bleeding_ minds out of the gutters…)  
**Disclaimer: **Dragonball/Z/GT/whatever is not mine. Don't sue cause I'll laugh, kthx.  
**A/N: **I am going to get so shot for this because Vegeta is so not _in character_ at all. And I wonder if Bulma even does this sort of thing to begin with. Well, at any rate, this is part of Sugar and Spice, my drabble/one-shot collection on these two. Gah! Does Vegeta even still _have_ a cape! Does it matter? No. Because in my mind, he was wearing one when this occurred. And don't even let me get started on the title. Er…first VegetaxBulma too, tell me how I do?

* * *

Bulma was drunk. No, she was more than just drunk. She was completely and utterly wasted. It took a little less than two full bottles of some very strong wine until she was babbling about random and incoherent things. But Vegeta reasoned, as he tried to put as much space as he could between him and the blue-eyed girl, that she babbled about nonsense even when she wasn't drunk. 

"V-Vegeta, just w-where are you…you going?" Bulma asked, giving him an angry glare. She had been right in the middle of telling him a rather interesting, or so in her view, story about the trip she made to the market today. It was all pointless in Vegeta's view.

"Away from you, woman. I've had enough of your incessant babbling and I'd like to get back to my training," he snapped rather venomously. Really, he had only come in from the gravity room for a bit to grab a quick snack. And then Bulma started on her bloody drunken nonsense. Normally, Vegeta would have shaken her off, but Bulma was being excessively clingy today.

"You can't go yet…I…I was j-just getting to the r-really good…parts," she mumbled as she stood up to follow him, _again._

"I do not care about your day. I do not care that you keep insisting on telling me. I do care, however, that you are interrupting my training time," Vegeta growled, and immediately shook Bulma off of the arm she had attached herself to.

Bulma stumbled backwards and landed on the couch with a quiet 'oof!' She didn't look hurt, in fact, she was yawning. She stretched out her limbs and then lay down on her side, curling up like a cat.

Vegeta stared. This woman never ceased to flabbergast him. It was as if she was specifically made to torture him in all sorts of ways Vegeta never knew you could torture a person. One minute, she was positively clinging to him and then, she was sprawled out on the couch, sleeping as soundly as a drunk person could.

And now, she was shivering! Vegeta had no idea why he was raving mad at the woman for shivering. Possibly because somewhere in the back of his mind, he was relating it to how weak humans were. But he never actually thought of the woman as weak. Brainless and completely without purpose, maybe. But not weak. Vegeta sighed after a moment when the shivers did not disappear. He took the cape from his shoulders and threw it over her, watching as her shivering instantly died. Vegeta smirked smugly, as if he had just conquered a planet or something, and left.

Some hours later, when Vegeta entered the living area, he found Bulma sitting up with his cape still wrapped around her. He had told himself all the way there that he was _not _coming in just to check on the woman and he was _not _going to help her if her limbs were too stiff and she could not move. And he certainly was _not _worried at all. That is, until he saw the way Bulma looked at him when he entered the room. She was smiling and tugging the cape a little closer to her, as if she was afraid if she let it go, then Vegeta would vanish before her very eyes. Her smile wasn't all together kind. It held a very malicious intent, Vegeta could see it hidden behind the sugary coating that her twinkling blue eyes provided.

And as Vegeta stood there, watching Bulma smile at him with something akin to sweet venom, he somehow knew that he would never know peace again.

**OWARI**


	2. Strawberry Kiwi

**Title: **Strawberry Kiwi  
**Author: **Divinus Vivi (aka Kira)  
**Anime/Manga/etc.: **Dragonball Z  
**Topic: **Lip gloss oo  
**Rating: **PG for some bad words, I think.  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **VegetaxBulma  
**Warnings/Spoilers: **Not any spoilers that I can think of...  
**Word Count: **497  
**Summary: **Vegeta has an interesting run in with lip gloss…  
**Disclaimer: **Dragonball/Z/GT/whatever is not mine. Don't sue cause I'll laugh, kthx.  
**A/N: **Another extremely weird drabble. It actually came to me when I was putting on some of my strawberry kiwi lip gloss. Bulma's weird in this fic. But Vegeta is even weirder. Please don't ask.

* * *

Vegeta stood in the doorway of Bulma's room, glaring as menacingly as he could at her. She was dragging him along to some dinner party that Capsle Corp was having. Bulma had mentioned that she needed a date and Yamcha was still being a bastard, so she needed a date. And Vegeta just happened to be the first eligible male that she set eyes on. Though Vegeta suspected it wasn't just a coincidence that he was the _only _eligible male around at the time. He would have gladly said no, of course, but she threatened him with the gravity room. She threatened to take away his precious training, like she always did. Sometimes Vegeta wondered how far he had fallen to let an Earth woman push him around like this. 

And what pissed him off even more so, was that she wasn't ready. After Kami knows how long of _staring _at herself in that mirror, she still wasn't ready.

"Are you ready yet?" He nearly barked at her, getting more irritated by the minute even as she picked up another tube.

"No. Now be quiet, I have to put on this first," she said, holding up the tube.

"Whatever it is, you don't need it. Now let's go," he growled angrily. For some reason, he was really losing his patience today.

Bulma sighed, unscrewed the lid on the tube and brought the applicant to her lips, sliding it over them easily. The scent of strawberries and something else that was quite fruity drifted over to Vegeta and he wrinkled his nose a little.

"What is that vile stuff?" He questioned, crossing his arms.

"It's lip gloss," Bulma said plainly.

"What is it made of? It stinks," he muttered.

"Chemicals I suppose," Bulma replied nonchalantly.

"And just why, woman, would you want to put foreign chemicals on yourself?" Vegeta glowered.

"Because," Bulma said, turning around and pointing at her shiny lips, "it makes your lips smooth and shiny," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's ridiculous," Vegeta said, turning his head away from her.

Bulma scowled a little, "Well, it also doesn't taste half bad," she said.

Vegeta turned his head back to give a smart retort, but he found that he couldn't talk. Bulma's lips were pressed too firmly against his for him to do anything but stare in shock really. When she pulled away, she had a grin on her face and her eyes were sparkling.

Vegeta licked his lips a little and was surprised to find that it wasn't the worst thing he had ever tasted.

"Kiwi," he murmured, remembering the sweet little green fruit Bulma had made him try once.

Bulma just smiled and turned back to the mirror to apply more of her strawberry kiwi lip gloss, but she didn't miss Vegeta's half-hearted glare. She really did have a feeling that she was going to need to reapply her lip gloss more than once this evening.

**OWARI**


End file.
